So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
