Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
