Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
