Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
