you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
