I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's rum buckets o'clock
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
