I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
