My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
