Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
