Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
