Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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