just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
