addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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