Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
