just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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