You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
please come you make the beer taste better
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Come back. Shots need mouths.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
