I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
