grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
