Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
