That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
