spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
