Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
