Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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