Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
