I didn't shave. On purpose
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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