did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
