Plan B is the new Plan A
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
