my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
