the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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