its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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