You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
