somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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