I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
