she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
