I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
