you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
