I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
