Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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