Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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