Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
