Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
