The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
