Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
