So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
