Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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