I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
