yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
