just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
