My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Michael Bay diarrhea
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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