I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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