Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
